Happy April 1st! The past few years, April has been an exciting month for me, but this year, I feel like I am just in a season of waiting. I’m waiting for summer so I can go back to working at my favorite place and spend time with my favorite person. I’m waiting for August so I can move to Florida to do something I’ve been dreaming of forever. I’m waiting for this semester to be over so I can finally be done with these classes. I’m just… waiting.
Now that spring break is over, the semester should be in the “it’s all downhill from here” part, since I now only have 5 weeks of classes left. But instead it feels like I’m walking up a hill, carrying loads of projects, essays, and exams on my shoulders. It’s exhausting. Knowing I have all of these deadlines coming up but having limited time to work on things is exhausting. Experiencing anxiety about everything is exhausting. My mind never settling on “a good amount of hours” to work is exhausting. This heaviness in my chest is exhausting. I am exhausted.
As I’m writing this blog post, I decided to look up Bible verses that talk about waiting. I figured there had to be something about going through a “season of waiting”, since everyone goes through multiple in their lifetime. What I find frustrates me at first. All I see are verses about “waiting on the Lord”. This doesn’t satisfy what I’m looking for, and I’m not even sure what “waiting on the Lord” means. What am I supposed to do with this??
So I googled it. “What does it mean to wait on the Lord?” What I found filled my soul with peace and understanding of why we go through seasons of waiting.
A simple definition shook me to the core. According to lds.ord, “In the scriptures, the word wait means to hope, to anticipate, and to trust.”
Hope, Anticipate, Trust.
This simple sentence helped me realize something. My season of waiting is not meant to frustrate me, worsen my anxiety and depression, or make my life boring or useless. My season of waiting is meant to give me room to grow. Grow in my character, patience, faith, humility, and in my relationship with God. Waiting on God is to put my hope and trust in Him, and to allow Him move in me and change my heart. There’s a reason I couldn’t find anything about “a season of waiting” in the Bible.
It’s because this is not simply a season of waiting, it is a season of waiting on God.
While everything that I have coming up this year is exciting, and I do look forward to it all, I believe that it is in this season that I will grow the most. I just have to look at it from God’s point of view rather than my own. I can’t just wait for the semester to be over- I have to look at every day as a chance to grow. And those verses that I was frustrated to find at first that I believed didn’t give me any answers about my season of waiting? Now I can look at them with a fresh view.
Isiah 40:31- But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
(The NIV version says, “they who hope in the Lord”. NLT says “they who trust in the Lord”. Waiting for the Lord is putting your hope in Him, and trusting Him.)
Lamentations 3:25- The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.
(The NIV version says, “to those whose hope is in Him”. NLT says, “to those who depend on Him”. Waiting for the Lord is to put your hope in Him, and depend on Him.)
I will not let my soul grow weary while I am waiting for this season to pass. I will not allow frustration, discouragement, and hopelessness into my life any more. I will wait on the Lord, and allow this season to bring me growth, change, and encouragement.
And in my exhaustion, I must remember that Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”
It is well with my soul.