I move to college in 78 days.
I’m sitting in my bed, in the house I’ve lived in for 18 years, surrounded by Stitch plushes and wrapped up in a soft Disney princess blanket and I can’t wrap my head around the fact that I move to COLLEGE in 78 days.
In just 11 weeks, everything I’ve ever known will flip upside down. My life is about to drastically change, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I’ve gone to the same school with the same people for 13 years. I’ve always lived just down the hall from my siblings, and have always gone to the same church. I’ve never had to make new friends because I’ve just grown up with all of them- I of course have made new friends, but it was while I was surrounded by a comfortable, familiar environment. I’ve had the same kitchen, grocery store, and school cafeteria since I can remember. I’ll have to leave my room that is filled with things that belong to me; where the walls ooze memories and comfort. I know my town inside and out, and soon I won’t have that.
When I go to college, every single thing in my life will be different. I’ll be surrounded by completely new people- I do not know a single soul at my new school. I’ll be two hours away from the people I grew up with, and some are moving even further. My family, boyfriend, and everyone will be a two-hour car ride away, and I won’t be able to see them in person for at least six weeks. I’ll have to make new friends, and somehow I’m expected to live in the same room and be comfortable with someone I’ve never met before, and that makes my introverted soul kind of freak out a little bit. My shy self will be thrown into a new environment with new teachers, places, and peers that I don’t even know yet.
I’ll have to leave the church I grew up in, and find somewhere to go that makes me feel the same comfort I feel when I walk through my church’s doors; somewhere that I can serve others, and grow by both listening to sermons and getting to know the people who have been there forever.
I’ll have to eat in a new cafeteria every single day, and try to ignore the calories that are listed right at eye level. I’m terrified to relapse in my eating disorder, and I know that being in a new environment could really trigger me to restrict. I have to find new coping mechanisms that don’t hurt me, and hold onto God tighter than I ever have, just so I can make sure that I eat enough.
I have to pack up and move as much of my room as I can, leaving behind clothes, books, stuffed animals, and my happiness wall. I can print out new pictures and hang them up, but the real memories will stay in my home town, where I will not be. I’ll have to share a small room with someone else and still try to make it my home away from home.
I’ll have to learn how to navigate a new campus and a new town, and get to know it as well as I know my home town. I’ll have to find new hangout places, new comfortable eating establishments, new quiet places to just relax. I’ll have to start over.
So you could say that I’m kind of terrified.
I’m terrified that in 78 days, everything will CHANGE. I hate change. I hate it with a passion.
“Without change, there would be no butterflies.”
I have to remember that I am not alone. Over half of the new people that I don’t know don’t know anyone else either. All of the students joining my freshman class are in the same boat as I am- they’re moving away from all that they’re familiar with too. Yes, some of them are more outgoing than I am and will probably make friends on the first day. I unfortunately do not have that luck, but that’s okay; that’s just something that I’ll have to deal with. Either way, I am not alone. Millions of freshman around the world feel the same way as me. And besides, my family, boyfriend, and friends are only a text, phone call, or Skype call away.
I also have God on my side. When everything changes, He remains the same. He remains ever loving, compassionate, kind, selfless, and incredible. He continues to love me, and fight for me, and will be on my side no matter what. So even though everything and everyone around me are new, He is the same.
Yes, I am scared to go to college in 78 days. But, through the fear, I will go into it with an open mind. I am excited that this new place offers me so many chances to make friends and gain experiences and share my passions. In 78 days, everything will change.